#2 What These Eyes Have Seen: Thxgiving Thanks

Some know of my long journey through college...squeezing 4 years into 5 and a half :/ Anyways, that part of my life was a huge growing and transitioning period for me. I learned a lot in my time at Hannibal-LaGrange College. I gained wisdom from men of God who graciously and lovingly took me through the scripture and even some through life. For these men and their ministry I am eternally grateful.

I also did some awesome internships and got to work along side some of the guys who do ministry best in the state of Missouri. My last summer in college (summer of 07) I was going to be interning at FBC Raytown and then graduating in December of that year. All the details were worked out and I was excited to work with 3 awesome youth guys at a youth ministry of 200 plus students. Before that time in life I had only been a part of my youth group growing up (20 at most) and others not reaching even a 100 students and most times no more than 30. There was even the infamous phone call with Brett that I'll probably never forget...ask me another time and I'll tell ya.

As the Spring semester in 07 was winding down I got a call to come to the Registrar's office. I am getting ready to go into my last semester in college and they tell me I owe over 2,000 dollars to come back. I was floored. I didn't have that much money and neither did my parents. So, I called Brett and told him I couldn't come...this absolutely broke me! I was so pumped about this internship. Ryan Langford had asked me to come the summer before when I was interning at the Baptist Building with Matt Kearns and the team. I had been looking forward to this for a long time.

I went home. I didn't want to but I got a job waiting tables at Country Kitchen. I did that for two weeks when I got a call one morning. A friend of my mom's had called her to see if she could meet with me. Having just got home I didn't want to get on the phone because I had been at work all night waiting tables of cranky drunk people but I talked to her anyways. And glad I did...she wanted to meet me at Starbucks so I gladly obliged lol.

We met and she asked me if I still wanted to go to KC and intern at FBC Raytown. Weird question I thought because they had already started and I was trying to make money to go back to school. She told me if they would still let me come she knew a family that would pay the money it took for me to go back to school. I was speechless. I didn't deserve this.

I called Brett and after talking to Ryan they said I could still come. So I packed up the 1989 Chevy Astro and headed for KC. I'll never forget how grateful I was that day. And on top of that my manager at Country Kitchen totally understood and told me to enjoy life...didn't see that coming either! I learned a lot there that summer and I look back at all the lives I was able to get to know, the people I did ministry with and how my relationship with the Father grew. I miss Graham, Tyler and the 32 Langford children too ;) but also the students!

Thank you, Jesus, for your blessings I don't deserve!

FBC Raytown Underground

What These Eyes Have Seen: Thxgiving Thanks #1

I figured with Thanksgiving so close around the corner I would share a wonderful story of the Grace of our Father in heaven. Before I dive to deep into that I wanna first note a few things I love about Thanksgiving.
1) Of course the wonderful meal we get to share with family
2) The football games on...can't go wrong with family, food and football (f3)
3) Family...I love hangin' with my family. This will be my first Thanksgiving with my step mom and step bro...pretty excited about that and also about seeing my other family...let's just say it's "interesting"...
4) When Thanksgiving is over I begin Christmas celebration...Although Santa be a fluke I will continue in my own tradition from college and watch Elf about 37 times a week until Christmas.
5) The most important thing: Being thankful...and that's what this post is about

I reminisced with the students at Ashland Baptist Wednesday on a story of grace that happened to my family. It was Thanksgiving time 1999. Money was short...A big thanksgiving dinner did not seem likely...bills took priority. Having this explained to me helped me swallow this a little more. But I can be thankful w/o a traditional meal right? I thought it would be ok...just difficult to see that time be severed.

About my normal duties as a teenage boy just starting high school I was chasing our cat, Butterscotch, through the living room because he had gotten into something and if my cat got stuff on the carpet it would be my backside cooking instead of turkey. Standing next to the front door, cat in hand, the door bell rings. DING DONG! I opened the door and no one was there...now before you just shrug this off as no big deal you have to understand our front porch was big...front yard, real, real big...you couldn't walk across our front porch without causing a ruckus for three country miles to hear and you couldn't escape the front yard without having felt like you prepped for the Boston Marathon. Knowing this I was beginning to conclude that Superman or Rocket Man had escaped upward without being seen...I know, I know...kind of irrational to think Rocket Man would be able to leave without much racket.

I dismissed all nonsense and looked down...seeing what was a red bag I slammed the door. "MOM!!!! There's a bomb on the porch." My poor Mother, of the paranoid clan, freaked and came to my rescue pushing me and butterscotch backwards and being braving the front door. Now my hero because although I had done the same act it was out of sheer ignorance...my Mother was a regular William Wallace. She looked down, "Jay, that isn't a bomb!" Easing my pain as I had rendered Superman as a true villain to have done such an act.

We brought in the red bag. Un-cinched the string and began to look at what was inside. My Mother closed the bag and began to cry. I was so confused. I began to pull stuff out and inside the bag was a turkey, all the fixins for a dinner and $50...I now knew my Mothers tears were ones of gratefulness and thanksgiving.

To this day we still have no clue who gave us that food. Doesn't matter. Whomever it was, a local neighbor or Superman, God had provided a gracious gift...Give thanks with a grateful heart!

GOD IS GOOD!

JESUS...Deity and Humanity...can't have one without the other

There is an age old question I think all people, Christian or not, ask at some point if they talk about Jesus. That question being: "Could Jesus have sinned?". I feel most probably skirt this question due to the road to discover the answer becomes one of circular arguments or disagreements for that matter.

Scripture states, "Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens - Jesus the Son of God - let us hold fast to the confession. For we don not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time." Hebrews 4:14-16.

This verse completely draws on Jesus' humanity and deity all the same. It is evident that Jesus was 100% God and 100% man. His favorite term for Himself was the "Son of Man"...alone a statement where He identified Himself as human. Jesus, is the likeness of the Father...He came in that likeness and He gave up His positon next to the Father and lowered Himself and became human...a humble move considering at this moment He subjected Himself to God the Father...He made Himself a servant...He considering equality with God not something to be grasped...

But He also claimed to be God...words which caused Jesus much trouble on this earth. But, each of these we shall give equal value...it is a balance greatly need by those who walk with Christ...

So, the question: Could Jesus have sinned? Answer in short is yes, but He didn't. Saying He could have sinned does not take away from the fact that He didn't...it encompasses His humanity and deity all at the same time. If Jesus could not have sinned then the temptation He didn't succumb to cannot match up with those of us who fall short every day. He wouldn't truly be able to sympathize with our weaknesses as the verse says He can.

Jesus was offered kingdoms, food, and many other things at His weakest points yet He remained sinless toward the Father. Jesus felt the urges and temptation as we do...it is what makes this verse jump out and apply to all the struggles we might have. He can relate to us on a level no one else can...God created us for Him, by Him and through Him and when He came He experienced life as we do...and He beat sin! Defeated it...death couldn't even hold Him...

Today, we can have comfort knowing that giving up all for the sake of Christ is not an effort in vain but one in victory. Christ understands...He knows our pain, struggle, temptation, hurt, lack of trust, sickness...He knows like no other can know...

I hadn't really explored this very much until recently and just kind of took Christ's humanity as something that happened...nothing I looked deeper into...It gives me great comfort to know that Christ knows my every struggle and He is there to assist me and give me strength through life's marathon.

I was told an illustration by my college NT and Greek professor, Dr. Barry Morgan, that set this up for me and gave it application. Being a fighter pilot in the military he talked some on the planes he flew. He said one day they tested the engines of the planes after working on them and when they did they had to chain them down to a static pad, a pad of concrete, and then turn the burners on full blast. In this testing sometimes a chain would break of the many holding down the plane and they would have to replace it. He asked which chain more understands the full force that jet has to offer? The chain that broke or the one that stayed true?

The one that stayed true...it fully experience the power of all tha plane had to offer. Jesus lived without breaking...He understands what it means to live without sin yet be tempted and tried as we are. He can sympathize with our weaknesses! Comforting to me...

...It's a winding road...but it shall be made straight...

Ok...so a few weeks ago I went on a camping trip to Bennett Springs, MO with my best friend, Josh. We absolutely had a blast and I caught my first trout! But as we drove I thought much on my road of life I have been on lately...sorry, not trying to draw on some cheesy illustration here but it did make me think...

The roads of Bennett are curvy and on the way down we took a new highway section not on GPS...it was quite funny to watch the little monster truck get confused on the screen. Nonetheless, we made it down and back safely. But, lately my life has seemed just like this...call it a search for heart if you want...or call it just life...

"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God; those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28

A familiar passage for most of us, this passage shines some new light on my heart at this point in life. I have been on a seemingly, windy road...over the last year I have battled some anxiety and depression at times...today, I am not completely immune to those for certain things draw them out...but I stand on the fact that Christ will sustain me...it's His promise to us all...

I don't take lightly Proverbs 3: 5-6...I am riveted to Him, my path will become straight because He guides me. As Jesus was fully God and fully human I can trust He fully sympathizes with my weakest points...all so He can sustain and grow me and make me stronger.

On the other side of this I will be a better man...every day I will be a better man than the day before. I am embarking on a new chapter...no longer a youth pastor, but now leading up a new singles ministry at my new church God is opening doors and shutting others...I am so grateful for His guidance as I patiently but recklessly follow His plan...this road may be winding and tough to navigate...but just as Josh and I made it home safely...so will I...

...ALL because of HIM...

Beatitude #2: Those Who Mourn

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4)

The mourning referenced here refers to mourning over sin...it's a godly type sorrow that produces repentance leading to salvation without regrets.  

2 Corinthians 7:10 - "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted, but the sorrow of the world produces death".

Godly sorrow refers to sorrow that is according to the will of God and produced by the Holy Spirit. True repentance cannot happen apart from such a genuine sorrow over one's sin. In the verse, 2 Cor. 7:10, the apostle Paul mentions "leading" saying that repentance belongs to the realm or sphere of salvation. Repentance is at the deepest part of the heart and proves one's salvation: Unbelievers repent of their sin initially when they are saved, and then as believers repent of their sins continually to keep the joy and blessing of their relationship to God.

Isaiah 40:1-2 mentions the comfort is the comfort of forgiveness and salvation.

Sorrow of the world produces death meaning human sorrow is unsanctified remorse and has no redemptive capability. All this sorrow is simply wounded pride of getting caught in one's sin and having one's lusts go unfulfilled. This sorrow leads only to guilt, shame, despair, depression, self-pity and hopelessness. "People can die from such sorrow" Matthew 27:3.

Continually, we need to practice godly sorrow. As I look inward at my sin I realize the need to maintain that constant, unbroken connection with the Father. When I "repent" is it Godly sorrow or is it worldly sorrow? Am I only asking for forgiveness because I got caught or am I truly burdened and broken over my sin. Today, be broken over sin and allow the Spirit to move your heart and refine it. When He tugs on you to remove a sin then take action to remove it from your life. Doing this will result in each day us being like Christ.

Beatitude #1: Poor in Spirit

Matthew 5:3 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"

Ok...I'm not gonna lie when I was a teenager and first read this passage I didn't understand how God could want me to be any more poor than I already was. Growing up in a home where money wasn't there, living through most of high school with a single mom, not much in the name brands for clothing or other material things, and just barely getting by each month...all these led me to believe I was going to be poor forever...

Obviously, I wasn't spiritually deep at the point of reading this to understand what Jesus actually meant. I have now come to understand alot of the misunderstandings I had in Scripture through my training and education, mentors, ministry experience, life, and being more and more saturated with the Gospel. I now understand that Jesus was calling me to be poor but different that I had originally thought...

As Jesus sat on the mountain that day with His newly called disciples this first teacing (The Sermon on the Mount) starts out with the foundation of the Christian faith...being poor in spirit...To become poor in spirit and obtain the kingdom of heaven we have to come to the place of total and reckless abandonment to Christ. Poor refers not to some materialistic loss of things and possesions or money but of self, which may also require us to give up material things (Ex.: the rich young ruler). I have come to realize that when I think I have given me completely that there is more of me to give away so Christ can completly have me. 

Preaching today focuses too much on the person's strength of will or the beauty of our character - things so easily noticed. We have confused people with our preaching. "Make a decision for Christ" but do we see the message this sends? That statement places emphasis on something our Lord never trusted. He nevers asks us to decide for Him, but to yield to Him - something very different.

"Poor in spirit" requires us to give up our rights and allow the Spirit to move and work mightily within us. The Reward: "...theirs is the kingdom of Heven." The first Christians at Antioch and the disciples in Acts understood this beatitude perfectly...giving of self. They gave of self so much they didn't pay attention to accomplishments or tangible things..."they were adding to their number daily"...touching lives and not knowing how their love may have touched the heart of another close by.

Many people have touched my heart and they may never know how much. This is the true characteristic of lovliness. Concious influence is a prideful thing and unchristian. The second we question being used by God is the second we lose the beauty and freshness of the Lord. The Israelites quesiton if God was with them while in the wilderness and wanted to return to bondage, but Moses quickly corrected them telling them to trust the Father and give of themselves to His cause...something they battled over and over again.

"He who believes in me...out of His heart will flow living water" (John 7:38). And if I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord. We always know Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring. Be "poor in spirit" and trust that because you have yielded to the Father He is faithful to use you.

Blessed: A series on the Beatitudes

I was recently told to read the Beatitudes as I pursue the next chapters in my life seeing as a lot is changing. There are few different reasons I am reading the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount...

1) To dig deeper into what Jesus was saying in the Beatitudes

2) To reflect these attitudes on my own heart and become more Christlike

3) To enable me to bring these into Bible studies or messages with those whom I minister to so as to present each one mature in Christ (Colossians 1:28-29)


So, to kick this blog series off I am going to give a little precursor and in later posts I will break down each Beattitude separately...


In Matthew 5:1-2 Jesus is retreating to the mountainside. He takes a sitting posture, the normal posture of a rabbi in His day. He then calls His disciples to Him...to invest in them, disciple them...as this was right after their calling by the Savior. These men drop their nets and follow Jesus...His first lesson to them was a set of characteristics, attitudes seen as essential to the faith that Christ would live out and the hope He would offer apart from sin.


"Blessed"...a word that literally means "happy, fortunate, blissful." This is character development in the Christian life...deeper than the surface emotions that normally arise in our Christian life. These attitudes call for Christlikeness! Ways, paths, roads, walks of life going opposite directions of worldly ways and values that lead to the pursuing happiness. Happiness found in materialism, abundance, leisure, riches, and things alike. The Beatitudes describe characteristics of true faith. They are practical and impacting. A deep study and reflection of them upon our hearts and actions will result in Christlikness...God's Word promises not to return void (Isaiah 55:11).


My prayer is that all who read these blogs and are a part of the Bible studies to follow will be led to a deeper understanding of not just this section of Scripture but a growing thirst and hunger for Christ, His Word and the life of giving of ourselves to spread the Gospel...a personal revival.